Anabasis

I continued along the coast to Antalya, then said goodbye to the ocean - I would not see it again for nearly half a year. I headed inland to Konya, where grocers stock a dozen kinds of dates, confectioners eyeball blocks of halva to the gram, and grapevines are cultivated individually, like shrubs. Konya is Turkey's most conservative region, the birthplace of whirling dervishes, and home to the dumbest mechanic in the world. I’m rather proud of the way I worked “captain dingleberry” into my Google review.

I visited Tuz Gölü, which (also) means salt lake. I just feel like we could do a better job at this. I proceeded to Cappadocia, where cavemen predicted the rise of social media and carved highly Instagrammable dwellings in the peculiar "fairy towers." Taking advantage of the soft rock, they dug entire subterranean cities - organic, insectile labyrinths capable of accommodating 30,000 people. It’s actually insane.

I camped with @harriet and @ali on a spiny outcrop in the Red Valley, eagerly awaiting the main attraction. At 4am, we began to see them: hot air balloons flashing like synapses firing among the brainy, crenulated hills. 

This was the apogee of Ali's trip, but Harriet was continuing on, bound for the Pamir Highway in Tajikistan. I'd been hearing a lot about this place recently, and decided that if everyone else was going there, so would I.

I met up with a man named Axel, who turned out to be exactly like the frontman of Guns and Roses... if he were born in East Germany 60 years ago, added a few pounds, learned to ride a motorcycle like a fucking maniac, and generally just wasn't feeling quite like himself. We rode for a few days on intense dirt roads, and though he denied it, I know he was frustrated at my comparatively sluggish pace. Together we crossed the Euphrates, visited Rumkale fortress, and ascended Mt. Nemru, then parted ways. Axel would head to Iran, as were most riders due to a confounding trio of border closures blocking all access to Central Asia, but I had no such option. I would only get to experience life on the periphery of the Middle East, but it would nonetheless prove to be a highlight of my entire journey.