Epilogue

There is a patina, unique to Southeast Asia, which covers practically every concrete surface here. It is a dull, desaturated green - a dusting of delicate moss and lichen that clings lightly to any undisturbed surface. A sign of vibrance, verdance, and humidity. It was the first thing I noticed upon my return, and it welcomed me home.

I'm not sure if it's appropriate to call Southeast Asia my home; I wasn’t born here and I come with adventitious privilege. I have money, esteem, and a way out if need be. Still, people can be born in the wrong place. In the Philippines I found real community for the first time in my life - and they dubbed me an honorary Filipino. In The Geography of Bliss, Eric Weiner writes that many people are “not political refugees escaping a repressive regime, nor economic refugees crossing a border in search of a better-paying job. They are hedonic refugees, moving to a new land, a new culture, because they are happier there.” Appropriation or appreciation? I guess it’s not black and white. More of a dull, desatured hue.

Weiner (lol) opines that “where we are is vital to who we are… not only of our physical environment but also of our cultural environment.” I could give self-aware caveats all day, but I’m just going to say that Thai culture is all but objectively superior to the late stage capitalism Americans call society. This kingdom is far from perfect for the average Thai, nonetheless they are without any doubt more honest, generous, altruistic, deferential, kind, and tranquil than any crackerjack I’ve ever met. My best friend here is a 60 year old woman who brings me mangos, “special” biscotti, and pure hatred on the pickleball court.

Weiner also says “paradise is a moving target.” I’m 34 now (dafuq), and coming to terms with the fact that I will likely never again feel like I did at 22 in Manila. It was certainly the right place, but maybe also just the right time. So right, in fact, that I’m afraid to go back.

Thailand is where I need to be right now. I have my own reasons, but if you’re not in the right place, chew on this Weiner: “happiness is just around the corner. The trick is finding the right corner.”